Truth vs. facts
Who owns the truth? Can my truth match yours? Is truth unanimous? Are truths and facts synonymous? Let's explore how we often conflate our truths with facts.
Your truth is the story you believe in
So often in my sessions I listen to people’s truths. To understand what is going on, I must hear the story. The story is based on how my client understands the situation, their life. It has gone through their filters when the story occurred and again when it manifests in their mind and body. Their version of the truth is 100 % true in their mind and body. And yet it is subjective.
We believe it more when it feels bad
We buy in on our truth because of how it feels. If something feels shitty, it must be true. My body wouldn’t respond like this if it wasn’t true, would it? It is innate that bad feelings seems more real and true than good feelings. This is due to our ancestors had to be on the look out for negativity in order to detect danger and stay safe. We can also see it in how our vocabulary has developed, we have more descriptive words for negative emotions than positive emotions.
Since we haven't changed much since early days of our species beginnings, we tend to stay longer in bad feelings, and try understand what has evoked the feelings. Today we have more understanding about our past and how we became the way we are, and are often unhappy about what we were given in childhood. This gives basis for subjective truths based on the feelings that lives in our body.
We build our truths with our tribe!
It is my job to work with my clients’ stories. As a basic rule I don’t buy in on their story. I believe they believe it and that they are hurting because of it, but I try to help them see the difference of the facts and their perception of the facts.
This is very interesting, because as we coach, they start to see that their perception is very subjective and based on their long-developed filters. Our filters are made from childhood by parents, siblings, other family, kindergarten, school, friends, colleagues, religion, culture, experiences and so on. We develop through society and build our truths with our tribe. It is safe. Most often we don’t question the real truth behind it. It serves us to go that way. It is beneficial.
The truth shapes your personality
Due to choices over time, you form and shape your belief-systems and patterns. It is something you identify yourself as. It is your personality. So you have practised your truth many times, and with that your feelings that awakes with it. This forms your opinions, choices, who you like to spend time with and so on. This shapes your life over time.
If the truth that is practised contains a lot of painful stories, these patterns can be hard to uphold in the long haul. It is an energy thief. Because if this story is your truth, you build on that when experiencing new things in life. The choices you make and the people you surround yourself with fits into your story, and are new building blocks to a continuous higher tower of your truth.
Building new stories on old stories may cause harm.
How?
The story of our life has become hard to carry.
Either mentally or physically, or both.
We are not able to see the facts from our version of the facts. We create evidence to prove that our story is true.
What?
POW, this is important to understand, we create evidence now to prove that this is how you are and it is bound to happen.
I see this over and over again.
The mind is plastic
At some point my clients start to see that there are other versions of the truth than they first believed, and it could also be one that is not as painful to carry. The mind is plastic and willing to alter the nervous systems fibers pathways, build an alternative truth. One that takes you out of harm’s way.
This may seem impossible to achieve. But I assure you it is not. When you have had enough of yourself, your sufferings, your truth, your own victimization of you, you will see this as an opportunity. At first you probably don’t know that you have a truth that is not serving you anymore, but you know that it doesn’t feel good. And that is good news. Change comes when you are ready to start to let go of old patterns and beliefs. Test out new ones and grow to believe in something that makes you feel good. Questioning the truth you have bought in on is a place to start.
Rewrite your truth
When you start to see that it may be other ways of looking at your life, it is possible to find something new to believe that makes you take better choices.
This is often confused with lying about things you know has happened.
It is not!
It is only another angle of the facts. One you didn't have at the time.
When you do this, you start to feel better, you start to get positive emotions, This releases happy hormones in your body, which will let you take better choices and strengthen your self-confidence.
Keep it or let go
You can choose to keep your old truth, or look at a new one that doesn't hurt or make you trapped in victimization.
Remember, I didn’t say it was easy, no, I said it is possible. You just have to start.
If you want to read more about how the brain oppose change, read more here:
https://www.liselemberg.no/hjernens-evinnelige-rop-om-status-quo/
Change is my key work. Questioning the story. Dig and find the source belief system, offer a new path to a new story, that you believe and makes you feel good.
The thing is you can choose what you want to believe. If it feels good, doesn’t cause harm and the results are good, what do you have to lose?
Are you ready to let go of your truth?
If you are ready to find your new truth,
book your free session and let's do it together!